5 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

Recently on Instagram and our newsletter, we posted a list of five signs you’re in a healthy relationship. I wanted to speak more about this to help you understand why these things tend to matter and what they mean.

1. You trust one another.

Trust essentially means “will you be there for me?” I like to imagine a trust fall and whether you could allow yourself to fall backwards and trust the other person to catch you. Our partners “catch” us in many different ways, including responding to our attempts to connect, commitment to the relationship, staying faithful, listening to us when we speak, considering us, and many more. When we trust our partner, it allows us to grow because we have a secure base (see upcoming attachment series) and we don’t feel unsafe in our relationship.

2. There’s open and honest communication.

Communication is huge. We need to be able to communicate in pretty much all aspects of life but especially in our romantic relationships. Being open and honest requires vulnerability which is what relationships are all about. This can also be related to trust because we are more likely to express ourselves in these ways if we trust our partner will listen and support us. Partners who do this are more likely to get their needs met and feel fulfilled in the relationship.

3. You respect each other’s boundaries.

Partners with healthy boundaries are able to say no and express their opinions. They feel valued because they don’t feel like they are being pressured into anything and believe their partner cares about them as much as they do themselves. Another way to think about boundaries is like the rules or map of the relationship. Each partner contributes to making the rules and each partner abides by them. A great example of this is ethical non-monogamy. Both partners have discussed the option of and consented to opening up their relationship in some way. If one partner says stop, it stops – end of story (boundary set and respected). Cheating is non-consensual non-monogamy and is when one partner is not respecting the boundary set of a monogamous relationship or how both partners agreed to open it. In that case, there was no consent thus a trust break has happened (boundary set and not respected).

4. You can be your most authentic self.

When you feel secure in your relationship, you are able to be your best self both inside and outside the relationship. You don’t feel afraid of how your partner will react. You can be your normal quirky self, knowing your partner is accepting and loves that about you. This can have great effects on your self-esteem because you and your partner are sending yourself the message that you are great just the way you are. If partners begin to hide or censor parts of themselves, that is a sign to look at potential issues.

5. You make decisions together.

The biggest change when you enter a relationship is shifting from “I” to “we.” Partners who do this are less likely to let issues create distance between them and are a united front (us vs. it/them mentality). Making decisions together shows that you care about and value both partners and one’s needs are not more important than the other. No one wants to feel less than and in a healthy relationship, you don’t.

If you identified with some of these, congratulations! Your relationship may be better off than you thought. These statements do not just happen. Relationships take continuous work to be healthy. If you feel like these statements don’t describe your relationship, you are part of the vast majority and I can help. Feel free to schedule a free 15 minute consultation to take a first step toward getting the relationship you want.

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