How To Have The “Where Is This Going?” Conversation

At some point, the status of a relationship became a taboo topic and in a way a symbol of power. 

If you were the one who asked, you were the desperate one but usually you were asking because the other person was not showing commitment to the relationship so why wouldn’t you wonder? 

As another animal on this planet, we pair up to meet our need for emotional fulfillment and eventually mating. Of course, there are stereotypes about which is more important for men and women but we all need both to feel fulfilled. 

Humans don’t procreate with every partner we have ever dated and much of that reason is because we are asking our self that question: where is this relationship going?

If you have got to a point in which you are seeing someone but you aren’t sure if he or she has titled the relationship, the relationship is monogamous, or any other question that clarifies if the relationship aligns with your current goals in life and love, then it is your right to ask! 

If you follow these tips and your partner still attempts to make you feel as if you are odd or taking things too seriously then please make a run for it! 

It is important, however, to be mindful of how you bring up and discuss the topic because relationships bring up a lot of hurt and insecurities for many people that can lash out in situations like this where the person may feel pressured or anxious. 

If this does happen, just give the person some space and possibly try to discuss it at a different time and the person has had time to think or via different means (ex: writing).

Okay, now that I’ve given you history and some warning signs, let’s discuss what you should do! 

This topic is not one that you want to bring up while your partner is running out the door so request some time that the two of you can talk. 

As you start it may be helpful to think of the movie Anger Management and how Adam Sandler was required to repeat “Goose Frabba” to stay calm. 

I want you to remember that calm, slow tone of voice and if you haven’t seen that movie imagine the voice of a yoga or meditation instructor. 

Let your partner know that you want to bring up that topic and you are interested in hearing how he or she is feeling about the relationship. 

Now remember! You may not hear things that you will want to hear, hence why you may be reading this article. 

The important thing is be thankful that the person is willing to be open and honest with you so that both of you can decide the best way to move forward, whether it be working on the relationship or separating. 

Practicing these skills and determining what you want will eventually help you find the right partner.

8 other experts weigh in on how to have the “Where Is This Going” conversation! Click the button above to continue reading.